Renewing Old Flames

It’s that time of the year again when we set new goals and make resolutions; a time to measure up on all the events of the past year and a time to throw out its garbage such as worries, set-backs, negativity, bad friends and exes. Typically, the New Year is characterized as the time to begin anew and move forward irrespective.

Personally in this year, I would like to take in a new perspective, which is for me to cling on to things and people that matter most. I have seen a lot of us set goals that are filled with making more money, expanding our businesses, taking a huge leap in our career, trying to keep fit and stay healthy which in all sincerity are great stuff to look towards but to what end if I may ask?

I want to have all the money in the world, be as fit as ever, travel the world, be considered an icon, but guess what I don’t want to do it alone. The constant chase for all these things make us lose sight of the most important things that matter which are God and relationship with others. Okay! I forgot to add that yes a lot of us are deciding not to loose sight of God so I would focus on relationship with others.

This new perspective is born from me beginning with the end in mind. The end is when we eventually lay in peace with our creator and only memories left in the minds of people we have established relationships with. What do we actually want our friends and family to say about us at our funeral? Are the goals we are setting now in line with what we would love to hear them say? We also have to remember that people and not things would be present at the funeral.

All this eventually brings me to the focus of this post in renewing old flames, building sustainable relationships with people around us. First, couples (dating or married) who have been together for a really long time and are beginning to feel ‘too familiar’ with each other and don’t even bother to spice up the relationship anymore; I think this is a time to set new relationship goals, ignite the spark in your relationship – spice it up by spending quality time together and doing stuff you both enjoy. Life is too short to not create the best memories by wasting it on being angry or bearing grudges.

Secondly, since this is a time of moving forward and dropping all bad blood, I think this is the time that exes just let go of hate. I know break-ups can be terrible and it’s normal you feel so much hate for your ex, but how long are we going to let someone stay rent free in our hearts. I would suggest you make a conscious effort to let go of the ex, call them up if you can and let them know you bear grudges no more and you have moved on. You don’t have to keep the communication lines open or be friends as you used to but it doesn’t mean when you see the person you just ignore them like they were never a part of your life.

For exes who didn’t end in bad blood but maybe lost touch or something, trying to find the whereabouts of that ex if you are still single and they are too won’t be a totally bad idea. You guys can reignite your love from where you stopped. You never know if walking down the aisle might be an option.

Lastly, it’s a time to renew old flames with friends. Because of the hustle and activities we engage in, we find it difficult to keep in touch with our old college friends, old colleagues, childhood friends etc. I see lately that I have been so carried away with the activities of life that I have lost touch with some of my friends, I feel really bad about this and I want to make this year all about my friends. We would have drinks together, night outs, movie days and sleepovers. This is the time we can do this before they all start getting married and more responsibilities set in.

What are your New Year goals? How many friends have you lost contact with? How many do you hope to renew? What is your relationship with your partner like? Do you need to rekindle your love by setting new relationship goals?

In essence, let this year be about the other person other than you. Love harder, build relationships, renew old friendships and never get so busy trying to make a living that you forget to make a life.

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About Author

Indulging Heart Matters

I am a romantic, love and relationship enthusiast. I believe love has been misconstrued in many ways and I want to give love back its real meaning. I also believe in the institution of marriage and I want to have a long lasting and fulfilling marriage; hence I want to learn by engaging with others all I can about love, relationships and marriages. The more I learn, the more I write them down here for us to discuss. So that's why I blog here.

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5 Comments on "Renewing Old Flames"

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True talk… Hate and pain hold people back much more than they know… Let go,;Let God.
Nice one hun.


This was really a great read for me. We sometimes get so busy with life and forget the One and ones who really matter.


Beautiful….I must applaud you. Never thought of this other perspective…. Beautiful