Why not half a man?

Wonders shall never cease to amaze me. My friend Ruby hurriedly rushed in to see me, she had this angry look but the type you express with a smile or more like laughter because you are too angry to have a strong face plus the reason is even quite funny. I asked her what was wrong with her and she just laughed out loud.

‘Can you imagine?’ she said.  Apparently she had just visited a married friend of hers who asked her why she had remained single for so long without a man. She believed my friend Ruby was being too selective. She said but Ruby, if you can’t find your perfect man, why not try half a man?

‘Pardon?’ I asked. What’s even half a man to start with? You know, the man incapable of being termed a real man because his manliness is questioned. Maybe a coward, in this context a man who didn’t complete his education or didn’t go at all, the unambitious man, a struggling man or more like a man who isn’t up to your standard but your job would eventually be to tushen him up. In simple terms, a man you would not settle for but condition make crayfish bend. I literally laughed out loud. How dare she? Would that kind of woman give her daughter’s hand in marriage to the so called ‘half a man’?

While we were still having this conversation, my friend Tosin walked in, I quickly downloaded the gist to her and she brought another angle to it. Tosin thought it unfair to call them half men but most men just act funny, she said, the ones you term real men end up misbehaving anyway. Her point in the long run was that she could do half a man maybe a semi-illiterate with loads of money, not the unambitious or annoying ones though. The key word was ‘money’ and care. Well, why wouldn’t he care for her anyway? Ghen ghen!! I trust this my babe jare. After all it’s better to cry in a Range Rover, travel and shop in whatever country of your choice, being with a real man and broke doesn’t cut it for her.

On what basis is half a man defined anyway, she continued. Is it because the so called real men went to the best schools or have the best jobs, or because of the looks, style and charisma? Or because he lies differently from the others? What exactly makes him better? Happiness is what we all want at the end of the day, the means is just different. Just someone who knows how to take care of me and keep me happy, Tosin said.

I quite see her point. But half a man?!! When I’m offering a complete package. Hell no!

The other day, I started a conversation with this single lady I had just met and she went on about how she likes to avoid family functions because of the constant question of ‘when are you getting married’? It got so bad that one of her aunties said ‘Haba! Just pick any one of them, the most important thing is to have your kids, who cares about the man once you are married.’ My jaw dropped. How can a married woman say this to a fellow lady? For heaven’s sake, why are you still in your marriage if it were for just kids.

Why do people think that it’s better to be married to half a man than no man at all? Can’t she be single if she doesn’t find her match? Must a woman settle?

Sitting here and writing this, I’m just visualising what will be going through a man’s mind, that some of their kind are being called ‘half men’. It is not even fair to call a human being that name like they are incomplete or incapable of being termed a real man. It’s just hard to deal with.

But in other terms, how possible is it to consider being with ‘half a man’ because you need to have kids or just so they say you are married? Which is better, settling for so called half men or accepting the single status quo? Or to just be like Tosin and settle for a rich half man? Which would you go for?

About Author

Indulging Heart Matters

I am a romantic, love and relationship enthusiast. I believe love has been misconstrued in many ways and I want to give love back its real meaning. I also believe in the institution of marriage and I want to have a long lasting and fulfilling marriage; hence I want to learn by engaging with others all I can about love, relationships and marriages. The more I learn, the more I write them down here for us to discuss. So that's why I blog here.

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3 Comments on "Why not half a man?"

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This is my face for amazement… The amazement isn’t because of the term ‘Half a man’, but because just this morning sitting in my parlour I was wondering what ladies characterize as a man (‘Real Man’). …for course you know I had to jump all over this article. So, in my contemplation, I realized that what is termed a man is actually skewed in our world today… ***Please pardon me, I’m Catholic, so my beliefs are traditionally…*** My idea of a man is someone who holds fast the Word of God, and not in terms of prosperity and power, but… Read more »
Wawuuu… Okay… half a man? Mean term! However in the context it’s being used in… I think that on the long run, whatever rocks your boat should by all means be on your boat… Some women will rather not settle for less than what they feel they deserve… I respect that… They love themselves too much to allow that… and they have the courage to wait. Some women on the other hand would rather settle and have some level of sanity and peace by avoiding the prying eyes of society because they are ‘finally’ married… I respect them too because… Read more »